anxiety diaries
Anxiety & Mental Health, The Anxiety Diaries

The Anxiety Diaries – Being Honest

I’ve been holding back on my blog a lot recently. My head is constantly filled with thoughts, but none of them have made it through my finger tips and on to the page. But something has to give. I can’t continue like this, hiding the way I am.

I started this blog to document the life of our family, and I’ve done that regularly for the last three years. But there is a part of our family life that I’ve kept quiet during that time. It’s as much a part of our family life as all of the fin stuff I blog about, and yet it remains in the background. A story untold.

Now, it’s time to be honest. For the last six years I’ve been struggling with anxiety. It’s not something I’ve been very open about. In fact, I didn’t even tell my husband until earlier this year. For six years I’ve been carrying my own secret, trying to hide it from those around me, from myself even. But Over the course of 2016, the feelings started to spill over until they couldn’t be contained anymore, and I finally admitted I’d been struggling.

It’s been a few months since I finally saw the doctor, but it’s still not something I’ve really spoken about on the blog. A few words here and there, but never going in to any real depth. I’ve been holding back, worried that people wouldn’t want to read about that part of my life, that it was too personal maybe. I’ve been going over it in my head. Thinking about it again and again, because anxiety does that to me. And today I finally decided that I should share this side of me, this side of our family life. Because otherwise, this whole blog becomes a big lie. I want this blog to be a true representation of the way we are as a family, warts and all. Or should I say anxiety and all?

That’s why I’ve decided to start a new blog series, The Anxiety Diaries. It’s going to be a bit of a brain dump, and perhaps no one will read it, but I need to do it for myself. And maybe, just maybe, someone else will read about my journey and feel less alone.

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8 Comments

  • Reply Newcastle Family Life December 4, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    I hope that writing about how you are feeling helps you. You know that I am always here if you ever need anyone to talk too as I also suffer from anxiety and know how awful it can be xx
    Newcastle Family Life recently posted…Thomas & Friends Glowing Musical Thomas ReviewMy Profile

  • Reply Debs Aspland December 4, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    So brave to do this, well done. I think so many people suffer alone so having this out there for people to read and realise they are not the only one is fantastic. Feel proud of yourself

  • Reply Myra Meyer December 4, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    What a brave lady you are. I am a grandmother who is surrounded by family members with mental health issues. My (deceased) mother had depression. My daughter has depression and anxiety. My grandson has 7, yes 7, mental health problems diagnosed, among them is depression. I have a granddaughter with (undiagnosed) obsessive compulsive disorder. And the list goes on. I am the lucky one to have bypassed these problems but, then, I am the mainstay for all of them. That, too, is a heavy load, at times. Keep on writing about you and who you are – all of you, not just the positive things. I, for one, will applaud you for your honesty.
    Myra, from Winnipeg, Canada.

    • Reply Lauren December 4, 2016 at 11:48 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment Myra. I think when you look carefully, so many people around us battle mental health issues. If we don’t have our own personal struggle, we are surely very close to someone who does, as with you and your family. That is why we have to normalise conversation on this issue, and that is why I have decided to start being more honest about myself. I hope your daughter and grandchildren get the help they need to get through, it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job at being there for them. Take care!

  • Reply Rebecca | AAUBlog December 5, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    it will definitely help you to get it all out in writing. And its good to hear all aspects of peoples’s life. Well done for sharing x
    Rebecca | AAUBlog recently posted…Easy Ways to Save Money on Your Christmas Groceries This YearMy Profile

  • Reply Stephanie December 7, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    Well done to you for even writing about it the first time. It is so hard to admit when things aren’t right but thats the first step at making them right again. Hugs x
    Stephanie recently posted…A Cosy Night InMy Profile

  • Reply Kellie December 7, 2016 at 9:01 pm

    Well done Lauren for taking the first step, talking about anxiety is so hard, I don’t think people understand it’s a real issue. I suffer from anxiety too so can only sympathise with you. Good luck with the new series!

  • Reply Chloe December 9, 2016 at 10:48 am

    I will certainly be reading the new series! Well done for opening up, you’re so brave. I suffer so badly from anxiety and only my partner and close friends know. It’ll be reassuring and refreshing to read another persons account. On the outside and online I appear that I am very sure of myself. But in reality, I actually got to a point a few years back where I couldn’t leave the house and the thought of stepping into so much as a supermarket crippled me. I’ve had years of trying out different coping methods and it’s at it’s best its ever been now. I still have to psych myself up to going into supermarkets, shops or different places. Even if they are places I go all of the time. But I do push myself to do it all now. Even attend big scary events! It’s taken a lot to get to where I am today, but one thing that helped was open up to others who were understanding. Friends that know you might need a minute more to go somewhere, or that you might not be able to do something when you get there. x

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