So another month is almost over. I have to admit, May hasn’t been my best month, and in a way I’m glad to see the back of it.
No, this really hasn’t been my month. In fact, I should say our month, because things haven’t been going too smoothly for my husband either. Usually, I’m not one to wish the days and months away, but I’m making an exception. June can’t come quick enough.
I really haven’t been feeling myself over the last few weeks. I’ve had a strange feeling hanging over me, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but I just haven’t been feeling right. Almost like a sadness, without feeling completely sad, if anyone can make sense of that. Just not my usual self. I’ve had little interest in my usual things, writing, reading, I even grew tired of watching The Walking Dead (which is weird because I’m like totally freakin obsessed with that show)!
Of course, as a blogger, suddenly having no interest in writing is a bit of a disaster. It’s been on my mind a lot, which I don’t think has helped. I’ve pretty much tortured myself over my lack of writing which in turn has made it harder to write. Every day I’ve said to myself ‘it’s been this many days since you last wrote a post, what is your craic’ and ended up just feeling terrible abut my lack writing skills. I have a tendency to put a lot of unnecessary pressure on to myself, which is a bad habit I’ve had for a long time.
Usually, when words fail me (because I often have blank periods) I turn to my books. I always find reading to be relaxing and refreshing. Of course this month, I haven’t been in the mood to read either, so I couldn’t turn to my books for a pick me up.
Honestly, I don’t know what’s been up with me.
My husband hasn’t been riding the happy train this month either. As an avid gamer, his computer is like a member of his family. So, imagine the distress it caused him when the computer had some kind of catastrophic failure at the beginning of the month. It wasn’t as simple as sending the computer back to the manufacturer for repair, as he’d built the thing himself, so we’ve spent the month trying to workout which component was causing the issue. The whole thing was a bit of a fiasco, switching in new parts here and there with disappointing results, until finally we isolated the problem and got it fixed at the end of last week.
Without his computer my husband just hasn’t been himself, and it’s made me sad to see him so upset. I think it’s partly to blame for my low mood over the month. Him not having his computer has disrupted our routine too, as usually in the evening he would play on the pc for a couple of hours while I would do some blogging, and I think that change has also left me feeling out of sorts too.
Of course, the month hasn’t been all bad. We’ve had some fun family days this month and the weather has been pretty awesome, but I’m saving all of that for my Ten Things We’ve Loved in May post which will be coming later in the week.
I’m pleased to report that as the month comes to a close, things are looking up. Today while I was at work I had an idea for a blog post, and I even made some notes while I was on my lunch break, which I haven’t done for ages. This evening I’m feeling inspired and I feel the gloomy mood I’ve been in is lifting.
I’m just calling May a write off, and I’m looking forward to beginning June with a refreshed head and a better outlook.