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Confessions of a foul mouthed mummy…

In photos I look like butter wouldn’t melt. If you speak to me on the telephone I sound like a nice polite young lady. But scratch the surface a bit and you will find that behind the nice image lies a dirty foul mouthed mummy.

Ok, so I swear, a lot. It’s awful, and it has to stop….. but it’s like a compulsion, I can’t help it. I have a knack for taking a perfectly nice sentence and turning it in to something utterly awful.

Rewind a few years… I have always had a bit of a mouth on me. I used to swear a lot as a teenager. I swore in front of my mam and didn’t think much of it (although I didn’t like to swear at my mam, because that’s disrespectful!). I lived in an area where swearing was almost just part of the language. I do remember one incident walking through my estate and hearing a little girl, maybe 4 years old, telling someone to f-off. I was shocked, and remember thinking ‘what a disgrace of a mother letting her child talk like that, my children will never swear’. Oh, to be young and naive again.

By the time I’d given birth to my lovely little angels, I’d decided I should probably try and tone my language down a but, after all I didn’t want my children to sound like the girl I’d heard in the street years earlier. I started trying to say things like ‘holy guacamole’ and ‘oh fudge’, but as good as my intentions were, I often let not so nice words slip through.

My husband often reminds me not to swear around the kids, but sometimes I just don’t realise I’m doing it, or to what extent.

I got a bit of a wake up call last week. My children were out with their dad and granda, when granda overheard the following:

Neil: Caitlin what are you having for lunch? Caitlin: sausage rolls. Neil: you unlucky bastard!*

When granda asked why he had said that he replied, ‘because mum says it a lot’. I was mortified when they told me the story! It made me realise that I was cursing so much that my children were picking up on it and thinking it was ok to use that kind of language. I’m just glad it wasn’t one of their school friends, or a teacher… Can you imagine that?! ‘Hey teacher…. F#*! off’, I would have looked like mother of the year!

Luckily, I’ve managed to explain to Neil that it’s not ok for children to use those kinds of words, and that mummy is naughty for saying them too. Now, whenever he hears me say ‘a bad word’ he shouts at me!

So here I am, making a vow to cut out the foul mouthed antics around the kids. I know I’m never going to have the mouth of a saint, but I want to be less Roy Chubby Brown and more like the well spoken responsible mother I should be….

….until the kids have gone to bed, of course!

*please pardon my language, the whole exchange doesn’t dound anywhere near as bad with little asterix and hash tags!


What do you think about children swearing? Have your children ever picked up some words they really shouldn’t be saying?


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13 Comments

  • Reply Martyn - Being Free January 20, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    I swear far too much. However, trained as worked as a teacher so am use to keeping it bottled in….This being said when the boys aren't here or in bed I do offload all of what I've been bottling up.

    I hear a lot of kids swear…and it only really makes my ear pick up when they use it completely in context….that point I might be concerned.

    My brother has a far worse mouth than I do. The boys are use to him swearing around them. Although if, for whatever reason, I can't keep it in and the odd word slips out they will correct me " you're not allowed to swear only uncle Nathan is allowed"
    Kids will pick these words up sooner or later. Especially around their peers. That being said I'd much rather the boys be aware of them and not use them.

    It's so difficult at times though, especially when you're not thinking quickly. Think you're doing the right thing though with cutting it down.

  • Reply Kim Carberry January 20, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    I swear too much too….I really try not to in front of the kids but a few words do slip out now and again! My girls know what swear words are and know they are wrong and tell me off now and again for saying them. How awful! It's strange though I never swear when I'm speaking to my dad! I think he would wash my mouth out with soap so I know I can speak without swearing x

  • Reply mamamim blog January 21, 2015 at 8:32 am

    Ha I loved this post as I can completely sympathise – once you get into the habit of swearing it's so hard to stop isn't it! I also feel like I swear more now as I'm older – so so naughty. My mum and dad still tell me off if I do it in front of them. Glad I'm now alone in it 🙂 Mim @ mamamim.com #MMWBH

  • Reply Wicked World of Lucas January 21, 2015 at 10:37 am

    I've been there………. It's so hard and I have slipped up. I was round mum and dads once and we were all playing hide and seek and Lucas couldn't find me. Finally me and my dad found me hiding behind a bed and Lucas goes "Oh Mum, you are a silly bugger!". The moment when he asked Nanny at the dinner table what a "w****r" was and although not technically swearing, when he asks for cock-porn in the supermarket, whilst meaning pop-corn!!! Great post.
    I hate to hear kids really swear but the inevitable will always happen. Lucas knows that if he hears me say something naughty to grass me up to his Dad but also knows that he's not to say it…….. otherwise we revoke his Haribo rights!! #sharewithme #MMWBH

  • Reply kidGLloves January 21, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Grace says – We know not to use naughty words so we giggle a LOT when we hear you big people say them and then try and pretend you didn't……. Naughty Naughty!!!

  • Reply Louise January 21, 2015 at 10:58 am

    Oh I'm with you on this one – I swear far too much, especially when I get irritated about things – hubby can always tell how angry I am by the frequency of the swear words. I do try not to do so in front of the children but they still slip out and so far trying to substitute alternatives has proved mostly unsuccessful. Good luck with trying to get it under control x

  • Reply Jenny Ripatti-Taylor January 21, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    You make me laugh. I think if that's what you have grown up with and heard as a natural thing it would be very hard to stop. So best of luck to you. lol Too funny your little one told on you. lol I have never been one to curse but I think that's because neither of my parents so much as said damn in front of us. I later found out as an adult my mother's favorite word is f*** and my dad refuses to let her say it. hahahaha Everyone is different. Words are words they will hear them somewhere I think if we just teach respect with them that's the issue. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  • Reply Louisa January 21, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    I don't swear a lot but could turn the air blue when I'm in a car and someone cuts it up. I try not to swear in front of the kids and if their friends ever do it in front of me I always correct them. It's hard not to sometimes though isn't it?

  • Reply Lauraevelyn bee January 22, 2015 at 11:54 am

    Oh no!!
    I was laughing as I read that…but oh no…I know its not funny really!!!
    It is so hard to watch your language sometimes….especially in the car for me…I have got quite good at muttering quietly any expletives that slip out!!! x
    #sharewithme

  • Reply Truly Madlykids January 22, 2015 at 7:01 pm

    Yep – with you! I say 'flip flop' when Im really cross then my 9 year old said you say that instead of the f word mummy ….!!!

  • Reply Mummy Tries January 22, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    Oh dear, good luck with finding a comprise lovely! I swear, although mostly not around mine or anyone else's kids. I've noticed that hardly any of my friends swear at all these days. Makes me feel very naughty 😉

    • Reply Mummy Tries January 22, 2015 at 7:09 pm

      Compromise, obv. Bloody predictive text…

  • Reply Honest Mum January 23, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    Bahah! My toddler said, 'ucking hell' the other day in context, you know, thankfully (phew) and I blamed it on him hearing the gardner swear. I need help. Have you a stop swearing programme I can sign up to 😉 Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

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