I’m having a bit of a crisis of confidence this week, and nothing can shake it.
I don’t know where it came from & I don’t know how to get rid of it.
Some nights I sit at my laptop writing posts. After finishing a post it’s only natural to read through it, to check it makes sense, to check spelling and grammar, but as I read through, little doubts start to creep in. I start second guessing everything I’ve written, feeling like it’s not good enough. Then I pass the point of no return… I hit the delete button, and the post is gone forever.
I’ve started to second guess myself so much that it’s stopping me actually writing anything. I have a page full of ideas in my blog notebook. The problem is, once it’s left my head and made it on to the paper, I instantly feel stupid about it, and take it no further.
When I first started blogging, I used to look to other blogs for inspiration. The writing of others always inspired my own writing. Now, when I read blogs, I see people who are better writers than me, people who are more creative than me, with more ideas, and then I feel a bit rubbish about my own writing, my own ideas. It’s hard not to look at those around you and compare your work, and a bit of that is ok, but it becomes a problem when you let it take over.
I haven’t blogged for a week, and it’s making me panic a bit.
There’s an internal struggle going on. One half of me is struggling to publish anything due to fear of other people thinking it’s not good enough. The other half of me is shouting ‘Get a grip!!’, this is my blog and I should just write whatever I feel like writing. If someone else thinks it’s rubbish… so be it. It’s very easy to say that, but I’m finding it a little more difficult to put that carefree thinking in to practice.
So, that’s where I’m at right now. I think someone needs to give me a good shake to get me back on track!